My Best Friend OLD
by skitzo krebstar
Summary: Something Mulder instructs Byers to do has a profound impact on Scully as she comes to terms with the fact that Mulder may not survive. My first X-Files fic in a LONG time. The first one of anything near quality. LoL. Please rr
1. The Reluctant Knocker

**Title: My Best Friend  
Author: sKiTzO sHy VioLeT  
Summary: Just something I'd been thinking about for a long time  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
  
**

~*~  
  


The knock on the door seems reluctant. Like who ever's behind it would rather be doing anything and everything else in the world. As if knocking on a door would end the entire world.  
  
No, not just any door. *My* door.   
  
I dry my eyes thoroughly, nobody can see me cry as long as I can help it, and I walk to the door. I look through the peephole and see a very nervous John Byers shifting from foot to foot.   
  
There's something in his hand.   
  
An envelope I think. Yeah, that's what it is. A small, yellow envelope, not much bigger than a music cassette. I sigh and open the door just as reluctantly as he knocked.  
  
It's not that I hate Byers. I just don't want to deal with anybody at the moment.  
  
I *really* don't.  
  
"Hey, Byers." I mumble resting my head against the door frame. "What's up?" I can't help but yawn, and he looks at me with these very sad eyes. Byers has very sad eyes. I  guess I just realized that. They're beautiful, an amazing blue. Strikingly clear and mournful.  
  
"Hey, Dana." I don't care that he's calling me Dana. I don't care about anything but Mulder at the moment. Not my mother, not my sister, not my cancer. Not even my baby. Nothing but Mulder matters.   
  
"Mulder wanted me to give you this if..." Tears make his eyes seem even more sorrowful and he can't talk anymore. It's so sad when men cry. I mean, it's sad when anyone cries not out of joy, but when men cry, it's worse. They're just so reserved, and hate to cry. He hands me the envelope and collects himself. "He wanted me to give it to you if it ever looked like he... Wasn't going to make it."  
  
That's it. That undoes me. Not all the way, mind you. I'm not sobbing or anything, but there's no mistaking the tears rolling down my cheeks. I take the small treasure and nod slowly. "He's going to make it." I practically whisper, for my comfort as well as his. Byers nods and turns to leave.  
  
"Wait," I call after him. "Do you want to come in for a minute to talk?" Some men would take that as an invitation to sex. A vulnerable woman, a vulnerable time. But Byers doesn't, and that's why I invited him. He's a very sweet man, John Byers. Not many like him left in this world. He smiles slightly and shakes his head.  
  
"I'd love to," He replies regretfully. "I really would, but I have to get home. Besides, I think Mulder wants you to open that alone."  
  
I nod and we say good-bye. I go back in my apartment, locking the door behind me. I make my way over to the couch and sit down.   
  
_What's in here?_  
  


~*~  
  
To be continued....  



	2. The Envelope, Please

**Title: My Best Friend  
Author: sKiTzO sHy VioLeT  
Summary: Just something I'd been thinking about for a long time  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
Spoilers: This fic takes place pre "Dead Alive"  
  
**

~*~  
  


Whatever it is, it isn't paper, so that rules a letter out. It's a little bulky, but not much. I feel it and realize the reason the envelope is a little bit bigger than a music cassette is because it *is* a music cassette. So while it's not written down I know the purpose of it is to tell me something.   
  
Leave it to Mulder to do something like that. Mulder's very unconventional. He's definitely the type of person that'd give you a tape rather than a letter. That's just the type of person he is. Why do what everyone else would do when you can do something different?   
  
I open the envelope and take the cassette out. It's black with a label that says simply "To Dana".   
  
_Dana. _He called me _Dana._ Which, of course, only fuels my sorrow even more. If he doesn't survive....  
  
I shake my head and snap out of it.Of course he'll survive. He's Mulder. He's strong. Of course, when you lose your entire family you have to be strong. That's just how things are.  
  
I stand and make my way over to my stereo, wondering what's on the tape. Maybe he recorded himself talking to me.   
  
I pop the tape in and realize I was wrong. In an instant my apartment is flooded with the sound of a guitar. Then two. It's beautiful the way they play together, complimenting the notes played by each other. Like me and Mulder I guess. I close my eyes and the strong voice of a man joins the instruments.  
  
_I never had no one that I could count on   
I've been let down so many times   
And I was tired of hurtin',   
So tired of searchin'   
Til you walked into my life   
Ant it was a feelin' I've never known   
And for the first time I didn't feel alone   
  
_Tears flood down my cheeks as I listen to the words. Are these lyrics meant for me? Oh God, I hope so. The words are perfect for us. Absolutely perfect.   
  
_You're more than a lover   
There could never be another   
To make me feel the way you do   
And oh, we just get closer   
I fall in love all over   
Every time I look at you   
I donut know where Id be   
Without you here with me   
Life with you makes perfect sense   
You're my best friend   
You're my best friend_   
  
I can't believe the words I'm hearing. They convey everything he's ever meant to me. Everything I've ever thought about when I thought about him.  
  
_You stand by me and you believe in me   
Like nobody ever has   
When my world goes crazy,   
You're right there to save me   
You make me see how much I have   
And I still tremble when we touch   
And oh, the look in your eyes   
When we make love   
  
_Oh God, Mulder. You have to live. You have to. Don't leave me. We've made love so many times without actually having sex. Every time we look at each other, every time we talk. Every time you put your hand at the small of my back to guide me. We make love all the time.   
  
I don't think the tears would stop if I wanted them to, but I need to cry. If Mulder doesn't survive I'll die as well. I can't live without him. I just can't.  
  
He repeats the chorus twice more, but I'm not listening anymore. I'm curled up on the couch, my cheeks wet and salty. Mulder's in terrible shape. Doctor's don't know if he'll make it. I don't know what I'm going to do...  
  
He loves me. And I love him.   
  
I'm crying out to the heavens now. Anybody who will listen. Please, dear God, no. I love him. I love him.   
  
I *love* him.  
  



End file.
